Top Ten Signs that Aliens Have Already Landed on Earth

From our just for fun Dept. I have to admit that I do believe number 3, there is no way that nancy (the evil alien) pelosi is human. The rest are just for fun, enjoy.

By Matthew Stoker, 6 Aug 2010 (AP)
As any good conspiracy theory buff worth his or her salt will tell you, the federal government has been covering up the existence of alien space craft for decades. Recently, it was reported in the news that Winston Churchill, Britain’s famously brave prime minister who guided his country through World War 2, had covered up the existence of UFOs. A report of unexplained flying objects observed by a Royal Air Force pilot was quietly buried. Churchill believed that the existence of such craft would cause mass hysteria if the public knew the truth. Have aliens already made contact with world leaders? Ten pieces of evidence that they have are listed below.

1. Area 51 has been slowly expanding over the past couple decades despite the government insistence that nothing new is being built there. Insiders say that it is construction for a swimming pool and baseball diamond, but is this just a cover story?
-More likely illegal space aliens are squatting out there waiting on obama to grant them amnesty.

2. During a campaign stop for democratic congressmen in Detroit, President Obama was overheard saying into his cell phone either “. . . what will the little green men think . . . ” or “. . . what will Michelle have to drink . . .”
-No self-respecting alien would hang with obama.

3. A former aide who once worked for Nancy Pelosi claimed that she wore a “human mask” over her very alien face and that she blamed her appearance on plastic surgery gone wrong. Is the Speaker of the House an alien version of the Manchurian candidate?
-Hmmmm this explains a few things.

4. Vice President Joe Biden was observed riding an “anti-gravity” sled outside his residence in Washington by a paparazzi photographer who climbed a tree to get a shot inside the compound. His camera was confiscated by secret service agents.
-The vice actually crashed an atv and it became an “anti-gravity sled” once the dumbass knocked the wheels off. The hard landing at the end resulted in the brain damage that he displays daily.

5. Bo the White House dog recently sprouted a third eye, which could mean advanced alien protoembryonic organ regeneration technology was used on him, or it could be just a fluke.

6. Much of the ingredients listed on cereal boxes sound foreign because many of the ingredients actually come from Mars. Conspiracy theorists believe that Martians are spiking popular breakfast cereals with drugs which will over several generations make humans much more docile and easier to enslave.
-That explains why the raisins have that powdery feel to them.

7. Global warming, according to some “ufoologists”, is real and is caused by a gigantic Martian death ray focused on earth and which is set to “slow bake.”
-I didn’t believe in global warming even before the aliens started to help it out. This one makes me want to scan pictures taken by the Martian rover and attempt to spot giant batteries, the power source behind the death ray.

8. Starbucks Coffee was supposedly founded by an intergalactic traveler who thought that humans would be dumb enough to pay $6.00 for an extra large cappuccino.
-Starbucks actually performs a valuable service by herding liberals into containment areas.

9. Buried within the recently passed financial reform legislation is billions of dollars set aside to help American citizens educate themselves about what to do in the event of a Martian invasion, or in the event of ABBA reuniting to start a world concert tour.
-The answer to both events will require large amounts of ammunition.

10. Fidel Castro recently gave a speech in which his lauded his own efforts to form a peace treaty with an invading alien armada from Jupiter before they go to war against the United States.
-Bring it paco, you and your little green buddies are fixin to git a good ol fashioned southern ass whipping.

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