Muslim Responses to Anti-Islamic Facts

Warner sent us the following email that I think you will get a kick out of.  (Man, oh, man…  If I had a nickel for every time I’ve encountered the following tactics…):

Muslim responses to anti-Islamic facts
By Kaktuzkid

1. Accuse the person of lying and ignorance. Tell him/her to read “authentic” Muslim websites and texts. Say that critics of Islam are “so-called” experts. Say that once a person “learns” about the “real” Islam, he/she will understand how beautiful and peaceful it is.

2. Accuse the person of racism or Islamophobia (This is one of the best tactics!). Say they are “filled with hate” (this works really well with Liberals!). Restrict your arguments to a specific subject (How Muslims are persecuted and misunderstood). Generalize a lot. Never suggest that a person examine both sides of the issue (that is, compare arguments from anti-Islamic sites with those from Muslims experts). Never refer to the hate and violence Muslims do. Say that the actions of Muslims have nothing to do with Islam.

3. Say that the problem is that Muslims today are not practicing the “Original Islam” of Mohammed and the glorious era of the ‘Four Righteous Caliphs’ that followed him (Do not mention the hate and violence that Mohammad preached and practiced and do not mention that 3 out of the 4 so-called Righteous Caliphs were murdered by Muslims in a fifty year orgy of conquest, greed, violence and rivalry that ended at battle of Kerbala – called the Ashura – with Muslims fighting Muslims and the heads of Mohammad’s grandson and even infant great-grandson and 70 others being carried in bags as trophies by the victorious Muslim army). Tell them that Islam is really peaceful!

4. Say that any verse from the Koran that portrays Islam negatively is “out of context”. Tell them it doesn’t really mean what it says. Also, insist that any tradition that says that Mohammad did very bad things is “weak” or forged, or that it has no isnad (chain of narration) even if it has a long isnad and Muslims constantly quote from this same source.

5. Tell people that any ‘nice’ or ‘peaceful’ (or earlier) verse in the Koran is valid for everywhere and all time. Any ‘kill’ and ‘hate’ verse has limited application and can only be understood by an expert or in relation to another verse 56 pages away.

6. Accuse Christianity and other religions as being “just as bad” (mention the Crusades). Say that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Say that Islam is the fastest growing religion on Mars too, and the rest of the universe.

7. Claim that Muslims are unjustly persecuted (never mention 1200 years of jihad against infidels, the treatment of non-Muslims in Islamic societies or current events). Mention the classical era when Islamic societies led the world in science, medicine and philosophy (Do not mention this was 700 years ago and that much of it was based upon ancient Greek works or influenced by the hated Jews living in those countries)

8. Explain that jihad means “inner struggle” (like a diet plan or giving up smoking!) and not “holy war”. Tell them that Islam says fighting can only be in self-defense. If they ask about all those raids, explain that Mohammad went on 26 self-defense expeditions, captured a lot of self-defense loot and self-defense slaves and killed a lot of people in self-defense in the early morning and night self-defense attacks. He even let his men rape women in self-defense at Banu-Mustaliq. If they question that last statement, suggest that maybe the women accused Mohammad’s men of being ‘gay’ and they had to prove themselves. (Note: It may be wise to work more on this answer!)

9. Blame all current problems in Islamic societies on (choose one or more…) the Jews, Christians, the Crusades, the USA, Atheism, Israel, Colonialism, Hollywood, Bush, the Pope, Vatican, Capitalism, racism, poverty, sexuality, discrimination, translations, the media, the Neocons, Right-wing radio talk shows, Communism, the Romans, women, Zionists, culture, Imperialism, Islamophobes, stereotypes, fascism, the Cold War, the War on Terror, ignorance, education, lack of education, misguided education, despair, lack of hope, the suffering of the Palestinian people, bad hair, cartoons, teddy bears and Bugs Bunny. Stress that Muslims are innocent victims of circumstances, always. Say the US, Europe and West support brutal, corrupt Arab regimes (Do not mention that all regimes in Muslim Middle East are undemocratic, brutal and corrupt).

10. Say that Islam “protects and honors” women. Say that “Islam has given women all her rights”. Point out the immorality in Western culture. Say that most of the people that convert to Islam are women. (Never talk about what the Quran and hadith say about women, except for 4 specific verses and do not mention that Mohammad himself said women are ‘deficient in intelligence’ and beat his wife). If they talk about the status of Muslim women everywhere, say that it is because Muslims do not follow Islam. Tell them it is “cultural”.

11. Say that a small minority of extremists have hijacked Islam, and they are not ‘real’ Muslims. Explain that just because a person says the shahada (profession of faith), observes the 5 pillars of Islam, goes to the mosque every Friday, has memorized half of the Quran, wears a beard, and is named ‘Mohammad’ – this does not mean that he is a ‘real’ Muslim. (Suggest that the terrorist― who knows,― may really be a Scientologist, a Presbyterian, a Rotarian or even a vile Jew pretending to be a Muslim). Oh yes, if Muslims do hate and violence, say that they are being ‘used’ and ‘manipulated’ by (see list in #9 of candidates to blame for manipulating innocent Muslims) and anything that Muslims do was caused by the interference of (pick another name from item #9). This is a good time to bring up Uncle Benny and say he was created in a CIA lab (Use the name “Bin Laden” which is what infidels call him).

12. If the person brings up issues relating to words and actions of Mohammad, say that you are offended. Say that we should not apply contemporary standards of morality and conduct to the teachings of the ‘eternal’ Quran and the actions of Islam’s prophet. Say that Mohammad was “a mercy for all mankind”. If he/she continues to ask about those deeds, make a few threats. Another possible idea is to ask the person to draw a picture of Mohammad on an old piece of paper, then say you are offended and attack the vile kafir infidel!

13. Use a lot of cute Arabic words to confuse the person. It also makes the Muslim seem smarter and/or an expert on Islam. See tip #2 above.

14. Quote the verse “who kills a single person, it is as if he killed all of mankind” to prove how peaceful Islam really is (Do not mention that the phrase is incomplete and you have omitted the first five words).

15. Once again, remember that Muslims “are the best of people” and Mohammad is a “Mercy for all mankind”. Keep thinking this. Never doubt; never question. If there is an issue it must be understood in light of these two sacred and eternal truths. Don’t let facts get in the way of feelings. If something appears to be wrong or bad, it can only be a conspiracy or a misunderstanding. There must be an explanation even if it is weird, really weird. The problem cannot be Islam’s fault so it must be the work of (insert name of evil non-Muslim group here). Explain that the rules of conduct that Muslims demand for others do not apply to Islam, because it is “special”.

16. If all else fails, assume a zombie-like attitude and start saying the Qanoot-e-Naazilah prayer in a low, intense voice (in Arabic!). Hiss a little between lines. Let the infidel know you are more than just a little crazy. If you have a knife take it out and start testing the blade with your thumb. Roll your eyes, foam at the mouth (twitching is good, too!). Stand up suddenly and start yelling “Allah Akhbar”. Do this ten times as loud as possible……… You have won the argument!

Explore posts in the same categories: humor, know your enemy

6 Comments on “Muslim Responses to Anti-Islamic Facts”

  1. Senor Doeboy Says:

    How can you tell when a Mohammedan is faking it?

    When they act like a “moderate”.

  2. Gramfan Says:

    Perfect example of this from Bolt’s ‘blog yesterday. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to identify the muslim poster using some of these tactics.

    http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/index.php/heraldsun/comments/september_11_was_an_anti_islamic_attack/

    Worth reading because it also shows the high level of non-muslim posters’ knowledge.

  3. Chris Says:

    Not until the arrival of the Internet have ordinary citizens in the West been able to engage in “dialogue” with Muslims in the Middle East. Often, Muslims are encountering for the very first time people who who are not afraid to challenge some of their basic (and unchallenged) beliefs. Who in their own countries, after all, would dare question the authenticity of the Quran or Shariah law?

    Just as alcoholics and drug addicts must go through several stages of denial before they come to grips with their personal problem, Muslims whose beliefs have never been challenged will resist and deny all non-Muslim attempts to persuade them with facts and data. Nevertheless, non-Muslims should not be discouraged because, clearly, these dialogues do succeed in nudging them along the path to self-realization.
    Non-Muslims should not demean or insult their contacts, as they have not been told the truth in many cases. Rather than quote the Bible or other books to which they may not have access, use their own sacred works to show the incongruity of their belief system and the inhumane practices emanating from their doctrines.

    The advantage non-Muslims have in such dialogues is that Islam acknowledges that its values run counter to reason. (See Surah 2:216 and Reliance of the Traveler, paragraph a1.4) Using reason is a common denominator for mankind (although some have been conditioned over time to mistrust it). Ultimately, reason will win out over dogma if we can keep the dialogue going. So find your Muslim “contact,” and gently reason with him or her.

  4. Blackdog Says:

    Is a 5.56mm a gentle nudge?

  5. Leatherneck Says:

    Only if you miss Blackdog.

  6. Warner Says:

    Chris said “The advantage non-Muslims have in such dialogues is that Islam acknowledges that its values run counter to reason.”

    Until a couple of years ago, the U.K. website of Hizb Ut Tahrir boldly proclaimed at the top of its home page:

    “Allah’s divinely revealed Qur’an cannot be in error; if the evidence contradicts the Holy Que’an, then the evidence must be discarded as erroneous”

    This intransigent refusal to accept empirical proof has continued to entrench their backwardness whilst reliance on the outcome of reason based analysis has provided the propulsive power for the rest of the world’s advancement.

    Insanity has been defined as ‘ repeating the same mistakes ( based on false premises) over and over again expecting, somehow, to achieve a different outcome’


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