Taliban trains spiders to kill dogs
Now they have gone too far, dog murdering taliban swine. I think I understand what really happened to the dog.
29 August, 2008, Sky News
A British soldier’s family have been scared out of their own home by a dangerous spider who bit their pet dog to death.
-A hardcore taliban camel spider trainer snuck this spider back to the UK to attack one of the few remaining Brits willing to fight against muslim oppression.
The Griffiths are fighting the war at home against the giant arachnid, who was unwittingly transported back from Afghanistan in paratrooper Rodney’s luggage.
-It was hand carried by a UK muslim returning from his personal jihad.
They have already lost their beloved eight-year-old dog, Bella, to the camel spider. The family pet had to be put down after being bitten by the venomous attacker.
-Ok, let’s be fair the dastardly taliban plot only half worked. The spider failed to kill the dog but messed it up enough that it had to be euthanized. I guess even taliban spider trainers suck.
Lorraine Griffiths and her three children, aged 18, 16 and four, have been forced to leave their family home in Colchester, Essex.
-I guess the spider is still at large. I had a buddy attacked by one of those damn things, they can do some serous damage and survive a stomp from a combat boot. Those spiders are tough.
They are now refusing to return to the property until the killer spider is captured by the RSPCA.
-Captured hell. Shoot the damn thing and move on with your life. Do not be a victim.
Found in desert regions, camel spiders can grow up to 6 inches and reach speeds of up to 10 mph, making them devils to catch.
-That is not exactly true every group of grunts I ever met captured them, matched them against another one and bet on the result. A winning camel spider is the pride of many a platoon.
Lorraine Griffiths believes the spider hitched a ride into the U.K. in the personal belongings of her husband.
-I like my theory that this was another evil minion plot to frighten the families of UK soldiers.
Rodney, 32, came home from duty in Helmand in June.
He has since returned for a further tour of duty in Afghanistan.
-And Mr taliban, now you have pissed him off, he loved that dog. You spider loving freaks will pay.
Doctor Bulldog & Ronin 
30 August, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Oh, I have GOT to get me one of those!!!
31 August, 2008 at 12:09 am
I have both a dog and cat for obvious reasons, that cat kills anything that comes near my yard that the dog needs not worry about. I’m not kidding that guy is out patrolling all night. I’m a lizard lover and sometimes it really pisses me off.
31 August, 2008 at 12:46 am
THEY HAVE NO VENOM
…but their bite can get infected and lead to complications if not treated. But it can’t kill.
http://askville.amazon.com/SimilarQuestions.do?req=bite-camel-spider-considered-deadly
Maybe it was some other spider, but not a camel.
31 August, 2008 at 8:31 am
Yonason,
Technically, you are right they do not have venom. What they do is numb the area and feed. You can lose large areas of flesh and be totally unaware. The effected areas swells to huge proportions and makes it easier for the spider to eat. Needless to say infection is almost a guarantee and that is the real killer. I have seen Bedouin tribesmen missing noses and ears among other things. Google “camel spider bite” in the images section if you want to see why I say shoot the damn things.
My buddy was bitten while asleep, he was the only one of us to use a mosquito bar and trapped the spider in with him. He did not know he was attacked until we woke him at first light. His head was swollen and he was missing a large portion of his forehead. In my buddies case he was medevaced but we redeployed before he made it back stateside. He was treated in several different facilities before the swelling went down enough to send him home. He was lucky, two bad scars across his forehead and a long-term hospital stay. I’m sure the scars and a better story get him free beer to this day.
1 September, 2008 at 12:57 pm
o.k., but according to the link I gave above, the numbing is a myth.
My guess is that your friend was so exhausted that he slept through the attack. I don’t know how many times I’ve been bitten by spiders (fortunately nothing really serious, though once I had a bit of an extended allergic reaction to multiple bites by one that inhabited the warehouse we were inventorying in Charelston SC, when I was in the Navy), and I didn’t even know it till the area swelled up, got itchy, etc., probably up to an hour or more after the fact. If there’s no initial sting, they don’t need an any anesthetic.
What the link says is that the camel, like most spiders, injects a tissue dissolving spit into the bite site and the local tissue dies. It needs to be treated right away, but it won’t kill (unless by secondary infection from gross lack of treatment).
Anyway, what I was getting at is that it his highly unlikely that this spider killed the dog, and completely certain that the jihadis aren’t “training” them to do anything. I have plenty against at the jihadis without this.
I’m glad your friend recovered and has been able to use his scars to full advantage, btw.
Cheers.
1 September, 2008 at 1:23 pm
“…that cat kills anything that comes near my yard…” — tgusa
You mean, like this?
I was with friends visiting one of theirs and needed to call home to say I was going to be a little late, so the fellow whose house it was told me to use the phone in his room. As the phone was ringing, my eyes followed an exposed wooden beam on the wall up to a rafter that spanned the ceiling. Then my eyes followed the beam out to a point about in the middle of the room, and stooped at a piece of raw meat. Then, I noticed it’s owner, an ocelot, staring down at me from the beam. It had paws the size of baseballs, and probably claws to match, but fortunately was still a jeuvenile. I told myself, “Since he has food, he’s not hungry, so if I don’t make any sudden moves I’m probably safe.”
…after a moment I regained my composure and responded to the “Hello? Hello? Who’s this?” I was just now conscious of on the other end of the line. I explained I would be a little late, but hopefully not TOO “late”, getting home.
When I went back into the other room, I complimented the owner on his lovely cat. I think he was disappointed there was no scream. Too bad for him.
1 September, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Yonason,
LOL – cute story.
Cheers
5 September, 2008 at 4:35 pm
DANG! Me & my oldest daughter had nightmares about those ugly critters!
5 September, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Lol, Kaafir,
That was not my intent. As long as you watch them and do not let them feast on you they are harmless. Many a Joe has earned a few extra bucks betting on his favorite spider.
5 September, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I reember watching youtube and our Brother Americans were using thier M16, M4, AR15 to kill those frekain bugs.
Its like rewatching Starship Troopers in live time…