Flashback Time Machine: Vote for Obama Because “I Don’t Like Paying $4.00 a Gallon for Gas”
By the way, the lady on the right who doesn’t like paying $4.00 a gallon for gas and thinks Obama is a freakin’ god, or something, is—surprise, surprise—running for Congress next year in the New Hampshire races. Her name is Joanne Dowdell. Would you be surprised if I told you that she describes herself as a “Progressive Democrat?” Yeah, I know; It’s shocking! Just shocking!
Yup, that’s just what we need: More pinko-commie-progressives in government who want to fundamentally change America while raiding the national treasury in the process!
Anyway, back to that $4.00 a gallon for gas thingy: In the run-up to the 2008 elections, the price of gas was out of control. However, with the exception of using high gas prices as an excuse to further destabilize America by cutting off supplies to our Strategic Petroleum Reserves, the commie DemonRats in Congress did nothing to bring the price of gas back down. They could have temporarily suspended gasoline taxes, right? That would have been immediately felt at the gas pump. But, why should they? It was all part of their “scorched earth” strategy to wreak havoc on the economy so that it could all be blamed on Bush. Then, when a Republican frontrunner had emerged, the strategy was to tie that candidate to the Bush Administration and its “failed economic policies” (by the way, that’s a socialist catchphrase for “capitalism” ). It worked beautifully. Obama got elected on a scorched earth strategy, white guilt, damned lies, and the nebulousness of Hope and Change.
When Obama stepped foot into the White House, the national average for gasoline had dropped to about $1.70 a gallon. Today, merely two years later, the national average is up around $3.90 a gallon and climbing. In fact, over where Obama psychophant and Progressive Democrat Joanned Dowdell lives, she’s shelling out $3.95 a gallon for regular at the Shell station on Hanover Street in Manchester, NH.
Now, why are gas prices rising? Well, as you may know, last week I headed up a think tank of very distinguished university professors and top scientists from around the world. The question asked was: “How does one increase the price of gas to force Americans into embracing green energy?”
The strategy arrived at was as follows:
1 – Weaken the U.S. Dollar: A weak dollar always leads to higher prices at the pump. Maybe we could manufacture a crisis and get the Federal Reserve to print more money. We could sell it to the public by calling it Kinetic Quantitative Easing, or something enigmatic like that.
2 – Use any excuse to put a moratorium on oil drilling in the United States: This lowers U.S. production and increases our demand on foreign oil.
3 – Increase the amount of red-tape and procedural delays an oil company must go through in order to drill on U.S. soil or off the coast. This will force oil companies to move operations outside of the United States in favor of nations with fewer regulations and delays. Thus, making foreign oil the only game in town.
4 – Monetarily aid other countries in exploring and drilling for oil in foreign nations. Thereby, allowing U.S. taxpayers the privilege of funding their dependence on foreign oil while choking off competition from those evil American oil companies.
5 – Stir up unrest in the Mideast. Oil prices always rise when oil speculators start to get nervous. Best to keep them on edge like a chihuahua who just crapped on the carpet. Perhaps we could drop a few bombs in the name of humanitarianism onto an oil producing country, or two.
6 – Remove all subsidies and tax-breaks provided to oil companies. The oil companies will then be forced to generate additional revenue by increasing the price of oil. Naturally, this will be passed along to the consumer via the gas pump and higher utility bills.
Yup, I sure am glad Obama didn’t think about doing any of those things… Wait a minute… What’s that you say? He’s already done most of that and more?
Crap! No wonder gas prices are so high!
Surely, he didn’t mean to raise the price of gas, now did he? After all, he’s actually formed a think-tank type of committee to look into these high prices we are paying at the pump. I’m sure they’ll have some valuable recommendations in a couple of years or so which we can use to draw up some legislation for Congress and the Senate to debate for a couple more years before it finally dies an inglorious whimpering death on the Senate floor.
What? Obama WANTS the price of gas to go up? What proof do you have?
What’s that you’ve got there? A quote from Obama’s Energy Secretary, Steven Chu? Well, let’s see it:
Yikes! That’s pretty crazy alright.
Hey, Joanne Dowdell, how’s that Hope and Change working out for you? Still don’t like paying $4.00 a gallon for gas? Here’s a novel idea: Vote NoBama in 2012!
Of course, you can bet your sweet bottom that Obama actually needs to shift gears for awhile to undue some of the damage he’s done in order to have gas prices drop before the 2012 elections. The easiest way to accomplish this, as I have mentioned before, is to temporarily suspend gasoline taxes. However, that would put the already bankrupt government deeper into debt.
Another way to accomplish this, albeit a slower way, is to have oil speculators start bidding short. This would slowly drive down the price of oil. What? You don’t think that all those companies out there who buy oil and have donated millions of dollars to get Obama elected can be influenced by the administration into bidding short? Dream on!
However, politicians don’t like to be so direct all the time—especially if it is going to leave a paper-trail.
Theoretically speaking, the quickest, short term solution would be to unleash some barrels from our Strategic Petroleum Reserves (SPR). Supposedly, this would instantly force all the speculators to start bidding short at the same time. Then, once the price of oil has dropped to a comfortable level (which seems to be averaging lately around the $2. 70 a gallon mark as translated at the gas pump), Obama could close up the SPR’s and coast along for about a year before the prices start spiraling out of control again.
Thinking about it, it’s a good thing those SPRs finally started getting resupplied right before Bush left the White House, else Obama would be up the proverbial sh@t creek without a paddle! Right? See how convenient that was? Gee, I wonder who designed it that way? Oh, that’s right… Pelosi, Reid, Biden, and…Obama.
However, and this is a BIG HOWEVER, when Billy-bob Clinton tried to lower the price of gas by opening up the SPR’s in the 1990s, it didn’t do hardly diddly squat to the price of gas! Sure, it made the Clinton administration look all sympathetic to the common man and stuff, but it didn’t work as advertised.
Therefore, it’s pretty obvious that Obama has created a monster with all his anti-American Oil, pro-green energy strategies. Historically, governments are really good at crafting legislation which causes economic turmoil. Unfortunately, governments are extremely bad at crafting legislation which actually helps to fix problems. Ergo, there’s really nothing Obama can do except sit back and watch his old nemesis, Capitalism, fix the problem for him!: As the price of oil and gas goes up, the consumers will consume less. This creates an overstocking of oil which, in turn, causes a reduction in the prices. Simple supply and demand economics, my friend.
Obama better Hope and Pray that this happens soon. Else, he’s done for in 2012 and no amount of campaign contributions will save him this time. Because, although Obama and his Lefturd eco-psychopants would like everyone paying exorbitant prices at the pump so they can push green energy, NO ONE “likes paying $4.00 a gallon for gas!”Explore posts in the same categories: politics