A Condom Grows in Brooklyn
Yeah, nothing like disgusting rump-riding litterbugs. And here I was led to believe that homos actually cared about the environment; Silly me:
Prospect Park Condom Crew Picks Up After Others Cavort
By ELISSA GOOTMAN – NYT
Marie Viljoen padded through the woods in Prospect Park one recent morning like a Brooklyn-chic bushwhacker in cargo pants, tall leather boots and a shock of red lipstick. She stepped delicately over damp logs and poison-ivy patches, a metal trash-grabber in one hand, a black trash bag in the other.
Something caught her eye. “Jackpot,” she said.
It was a small pile of condom wrappers and their decaying former contents, each of which she snared with the grabber and deposited in the bag, betraying not a whiff of squeamishness. And with that, Brooklyn’s largest remaining stretch of forest was a tiny bit cleaner.
It was the second gathering of the Prospect Park Litter Mob, a group organized by Ms. Viljoen, 41, a garden designer, blogger, photographer and writer who has grown frustrated with the litter in Prospect Park, particularly in the Midwood, a patch of woodlands near the carousel, bordered by Center Drive and East Drive.
The Midwood is known as a place gay men cruise for sex.
Ms. Viljoen organized the litter-collecting group half a year later, and only reluctantly, she said, after failing to get the Parks Department to address the problem itself. The best she could get in the way of a response, she said, was a letter in March from Emily Lloyd, the new president of the Prospect Park Alliance, a nonprofit group that helps the city run the park. The letter said that because of the remoteness of the woodlands, they had to be cleaned up by “our small landscape management staff” without the use of large equipment like garbage trucks.
And so last Tuesday, a group of eight — bloggers and nature lovers, a worker and an intern from the park alliance’s cleanup crew — took to the urban woods.
Darren Theriot, 43, another aspiring photographer, said he had joined the effort because he was disgusted by the trash in the area. But he said he also feared an alternative response to the litter: a potential crackdown on gay men who may have nowhere else to go.
A crackdown on gay men? Homos may have nowhere else to go? What planet is this guy living on?
In four hours, the crew filled 22 bags. Among the contents: Cigar wrappers. Tissue paper. Empty bottles of vodka and coconut rum. A gold lamé thong. A studded dog collar. Stapled pages of a manuscript. Subway cards. A hypodermic needle. A pair of pants. Chips packets. Breath mints. A raccoon skull. And, according to the volunteers’ estimates, upward of 2,000 condom wrappers and 600 condoms.
The group had just cleaned the same area two weeks earlier, so there was a Sisyphean quality to the endeavor.
Let’s see now… 2,000 condom wrappers divided by 14 days equals about 143 per night. Since it takes two to tango, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt: 143 divided by 2 equals about 71 hook-ups a night!
Which begs the question: Where are the police? Too busy patrolling make-out spots frequented by teens in love?