Chinese Successfully Test Penis Attack Eel

I got over poisoned baby and dog food, I can deal with defective power tools and I understand slaves make horrible electronics, but this is too much. Training animals to attack a mans penis is beyond evil.

I realize this is part of a master plan to fight back against the global pro homosexual agenda but it is still evil.

I also heard the eel is an unwilling victim forced into service by the evil Chinese government. I wouldn’t put it past um.

Mark Pangallo, Metro, 13th September, 2011

Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood.

-I realize that most of you are reading this and wondering why I posted it but you have to remember, we search the global media to warn you about threats and penis attack eels are no laughing matter. The chinese are sick and twisted to even consider this as an option.

The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.

-I get the chinese testing a new weapon, they are evil but the Brits do it because they are stupid and wait until you read what the hindu kids play with.

Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.

-Um, look chin, I think someone has played a bad trick on you.

But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.

‘I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,’ the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said.

-He should have used Kung Fu to protect himself.

I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.’

(OK, that’s enough cringing now… it’s horrible, though, we know…)

Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it.

Surgeon Jin Wang said that, because of the eel’s slippery nature, it was able to make a smooth entry into the genitals of Nan.

‘The diameter of the urethra in a man’s penis is just a little narrower, but because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and so it got into the penis smoothly,’ he said.

-This is what you creeps get for murdering Doc’s dog. I hope penis attack eels infect every chinese bathtub.

(Really – stop cringing – we can see you…)

Believe it or not, Nan’s case follows a similar incident when a 14-year-old boy in India had to undergo emergency surgery.

In a case study published by urologists Dr G Vezhaventhan and R Jeyaraman, they described how they removed a 2cm-long fish from the boy’s bladder.

The teenager said that while holding the fish he had gone to the toilet and, while urinating, the fish had ‘slipped from his hand and entered his urethra’.


Explore posts in the same categories: Abuse of Power, Chinese Connection, Gay Agenda, human interest

14 Comments on “Chinese Successfully Test Penis Attack Eel”

  1. AAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!…. In da WANG!!

  2. Okay, this story sounds pretty *ahem* “fishy” to me. I mean, what type of eel is it in that blurry photo? It looks more like a small brown snake of some sort to me.

    And, who ever heard of a Chicom so well hung that a six inch long, well over a quarter inch thick, “eel” could make its way up his urethra? I mean, seriously, what are the odds that the only Chicom version of John Holmes, ever, would be the one guy out of all of China to come up with the bright idea of an eel spa?

    Where are the Mythbusters when you need them?

    But, on the other hand, if it did happen, Ronin is absolutely right: This is what you get for murdering my dog with your tainted Chicom dog food, you lousy little commie b@st@rds!


  3. I dunno.. I guess its just me.

    I NEVER wanna get into a tank with critters that are addicted to eatting human flesh and trying to find ‘dead skin’ in various portions of mine (Or YOU Guys & Gals) anotomy.

    “And now for something compeltely different”

    And for more news stories involving ‘penises’ look here if ya want to…

  4. Lastly…

    Hilarious comments from:

    “A naked man bathing in China,”
    “Was thinkin’ he couldn’t feel fina’,”
    “‘Til an eel slipped inside,”
    “And the Chinese man died,”
    “Diagnosis? A penile angina.”

    “The bather was feeling fine until he suddenly took ‘eel’.”

  5. tgusa Says:

    Must have been a really small Eel.

  6. Gonzo Says:

    First Jaws, now tiny penis eels. next thing you know, there will be some global warming scare to frighten ppl outta the water.

  7. tgusa Says:

    Just as he was preparing to tweet a picture of his penis to democrats this Eel has to horn in and spoil the moment. I know what you are thinking, you really hate when this stuff happens. Perhaps he should just leave the thing halfway in and then run for the crat nomination of 2012. After all, that’s about all they have, neked pictures that is.

  8. Considering other traditional Chinese medications such as using tanks to cure that democracy disease and bullets for that pesky Falun Gong virus I guess this one isn’t so bad. Plus the occasional eel in the penis is better than having your organs sold.

  9. Or being displayed thusly……_The_Exhibition

  10. […] image of a phone turned up.  But when I came across the image at left,  on a blog post titled Chinese Successfully Test Penis Attack Eel,  I knew right away I would have to use this image,  if for no other reason than to be able to […]

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